How to ask for a raise: what to say to your boss, and what to do with a no
In short
Ask before the budget is set, show what you have contributed with numbers, name one figure or a narrow range, and if the answer is not yes today, ask what it would take and by when.
Asking for more money feels personal, so many people either never ask or ask in a sentence that already sounds like a complaint. A raise conversation is a negotiation about the value of your work, and your manager is often not the only one who decides. They need facts they can repeat and a figure they can write down for whoever holds the budget.
How to prepare before you ask for a raise
- Find the market rate for your role, level and region: salary surveys, job ads that show ranges, people in similar roles you trust. Write down a range from several sources.
- List what you have contributed since your last salary change, with numbers where you have them: projects delivered, revenue won, costs saved, tasks you took over.
- Note how your role has grown. A raise is easier to justify when the job itself has changed.
- Decide on your figure and the lowest you would accept. Say the first, keep the second to yourself.
- Find out when budgets are planned, and ask a few weeks before, not after the numbers are fixed.
What to say when asking for a raise
Open with the purpose: "I'd like to talk about my salary." Then give two or three contributions as observations, the market range you found, and your figure. Then stop. The silence after a number is uncomfortable, and it is exactly the moment people talk themselves down. Let your manager answer first.
How to discuss salary negotiation with your manager
Salary negotiation goes better as a shared problem: you want pay that matches your work, your manager wants to keep a good person within a budget. The Harvard negotiation method calls this looking at the interests behind the positions. "Five per cent more" is a position; behind it may be recognition, security, or a sense that you are moving forward.
If the money is not there, other options can meet some of the same interests: a new title, a training budget, fewer hours, or a fixed date for the next salary review with criteria agreed now. Ask for these only if you want them.
Why it often goes wrong
"Everyone else got a raise. I'm clearly undervalued here, and you don't value what I do."
"Everyone else" is a comparison your manager cannot check and will dispute, and "you don't value what I do" tells them what they think. The conversation turns into a defence of the pay structure instead of a look at your work.
It also names no figure and no request. Your manager hears a grievance, and the easiest answer to a grievance is reassurance: "Of course we value you." That costs nothing, and often it is all you get. Adding "or I'll start looking elsewhere" only helps if you mean it; a threat you do not carry out weakens every later conversation.
How to open
Each opening has four parts: what happened, how it leaves you, what matters to you, what you are asking for. Take the one that suits you and put in your own details.
Matter-of-fact
- Observation
- Since my last salary review in March last year, I have taken over the supplier contracts and led the move to the new system.
- Feeling
- I feel a little nervous raising this, and I am also confident about what I bring.
- Need
- It matters to me that my pay reflects the role I have now.
- Request
- Could we discuss an adjustment to my salary and agree on a decision by the end of the month?
With figures
- Observation
- This year I closed eleven new accounts, worth about 180,000 in annual revenue. The job ads I collected for my role show a range of 52,000 to 58,000; I earn 49,000.
- Feeling
- I feel uneasy about that gap, and I would like to settle it openly.
- Need
- I need my salary to be in line with the market for this role.
- Request
- I am asking for 55,000 from January. Could you tell me by the 15th whether that works, or what you can offer instead?
Firm
- Observation
- In our meeting in May you said we would review my salary in the autumn, once the new team was running; the team has been running since September.
- Feeling
- I feel frustrated that the autumn has come without that conversation.
- Need
- I need agreements about my pay to hold.
- Request
- Please tell me by Friday when we can meet about it, and bring the figure you can propose.
Before you bring it up
- Ask for the meeting in advance and say what it is about: "I'd like thirty minutes to talk about my salary." A surprise helps neither of you.
- Name a specific figure or a narrow range. "A bit more" invites the smallest possible amount.
- If the answer is a counter-offer or a no, you do not have to respond on the spot. "Let me think about it until tomorrow" is a complete answer.
When they answer
- They say There's no budget right now.
- You I understand. When is next year's budget set, and what would I need to show by then so that my raise is part of it?
- They say You only had a raise last year.
- You That's right, and it was for the role I had then. Since then I've taken over the supplier contracts; that's what I'd like us to look at.
- They say Let's talk about it at your review.
- You Fine with me if the review is soon. Can we put salary on its agenda now, so the figures are ready by then?
- They say What would you do if I say no?
- You I'd want to know what would need to change for a yes, and by when. I'm asking because I'd like my future to be here.
Asking for a raise by email: an example
Use email to ask for the meeting and to confirm what was agreed; the negotiation itself goes better in person or on a call. An example: "Hi Sam, I'd like to set up thirty minutes in the next two weeks to talk about my salary. Since my last adjustment I've taken over the supplier contracts and led the system migration. I'll bring a short summary. Would Tuesday or Thursday afternoon work?"
Afterwards: "Thanks for today. As discussed, you'll take the proposal of 55,000 from January to finance and let me know by the 15th." That turns a friendly conversation into an agreement both of you can check.
Typical mistakes when asking for a raise
- Starting with an apology: "I know times are hard, sorry to bring this up."
- Naming a figure and lowering it yourself before your manager has said a word.
- Treating a no or a lower counter-offer as a verdict on you. It is information: about the budget, about how your work is seen, about what would change the answer. Ask for it; it is what you decide your next step with.
- Threatening to leave without meaning it. If the firm version is the hard part, rehearse it with a counterpart who says no.
Try it on your own sentence
Write the first sentence you would say. The simulator’s rules read along and show which words put the other person on the defensive.
No sentence yet. The flagged words and the question to ask yourself appear here.
Three steps, your sentence comes along. No account, nothing stored.
Frequently asked questions
How do I ask my boss for a raise?
Ask for a dedicated meeting about your salary. In it, name two or three concrete contributions, the market range for your role and your figure, then let your manager answer. Close with an agreed date for a decision.
When is the best time to ask for a raise?
Before next year's budget is set, and after a visible success rather than in a crisis. Ask your manager or HR when salaries are planned.
How much should I ask for?
Base it on the market range for your role and region and on how your job has grown. Name a figure near the top of what you can justify, and decide beforehand the lowest you would accept.
What if my boss says no?
Ask what would need to be true for a yes, and agree on a date to look at it again. A no is information about the budget and about how your work is seen, not a verdict on your worth.
Should I mention a job offer from another company?
Only if you have it and would take it. As a bluff it can end the negotiation, or the job; said honestly, it is a fact your manager may need to pass on.
The four steps of observation, feeling, need and request are based on the work of Dr. Marshall Rosenberg and the Center for Nonviolent Communication (cnvc.org). This site is not run by a CNVC-certified trainer.